Diva Days/Daze - Pawsing for Me

  Hello MY Darlings!     We hope all your energetic kittens are enjoying the Spring weather in Toronto!

  I was reflecting momentarily on my own memories growing up in my urban city.

(Bonk)......A huge male seagull, skidded to a halt on my window sill. (Waking up from my DAZE).  Screeching, letting the world know he was there!

  Stretching, turning around I got myself into position for a long morning nap.

    In my practice I tell my human and feline patients to take a "Diva Daze".  Oh I have spelt it that way to get your attention!!!!     

 

 Do this!  One day a week take a 'me day' as humans call it!  Sleep, socialize, paw over the newspaper, read a book, do nothing! Curl up in a canvas shopping bag and sleep till your hearts content!

Some humans GET IT RIGHT!

Liquid -gold

Felines, stop chasing the mice; running up and down the sofa; chewing on plants and playing in the soil.

PAWS for Effect

Sweet enough to TASTE

Dogs, stop chasing your tails; standing on your head to get attention; or sitting with the frisbee waiting for the human to take you out.Chill-out and relaxxxxx.

The Portal Hutch - where I dream and get ideas for blogs!

Find interesting places to go, or hide.  Escape, celebrate rest and relaxation!! Haven't YOU earned it after ALL.   

The time you take to connect with yourself will be amazing! We all know from research the value it can bring psychologically. 

Your human can be your best friend, we all need that break!

ME time!!!!!

Use a "Paw print" image on your doggie or cat calender and pencil in ME time...
 ONE A WEEK... MY advise for this week!!!1

Do it now, Darlings!

Penciling some ME TIME

See you soon.................................

So you like Sleeping Do YOU!!! ROOM SERVICE 101

Well I see you are STILL SLEEPING, I've been up for HOURS!

Good morning MY darlings!

ROOM SERVICE 101.........Wakey Wakey, its dawn…I see you sleeping! So ….are you? Thought you could sleep! Ah yes, the eyes are tight shut and you are snoring as usual.  What is the matter with you it is 5:00 a.m. I’ve already been prowling the morning sky for birds; a little snack before I wake you up!!!

Diva distracts, acts, stealing the morning slumber from her human!



I want my breakfast – NOW!


Do you hear ME, my day job at the theatre starts at 11:00 a.m. Just in time for English elevenses....the civilized hour for sipping tea before noon!.

I'm ready to perform....however I do have an ulterior motive  FOOD!(shaking her head and hips, wagging her tail in defiance  - tap, tap, tap)!! Get UP!

Oh.... I see toes..dare to me bite them!

I have plans for you…..thought I was innocent, oh yes, my sweet darling face could have been give away. (Smirking) But it isn’t.it isn't!   Humans have one purpose ONLY …to SERVE DIVA CATS!!!!!!

I promise to:  Make you jump out of your skin, yell in your ear with meows that will shatter glass!!! Before 7:00 a.m.!!! Can you dig it girl???

For those new kittens on the block here are the STEPS you need to take. (get your paws ready to take notes with a bowl of milk!). A refresher for the seasoned cats!

How to GET YOUR BREAKFAST NOW @^..^@ - :  10 point version:

1)      Observe your human;

2)      Carefully jump on the bed not to make any motion;

3)      Watch their face, are they snoring (if so creep up to the right or left ear and sit for a moment);

Planning the strategy!!!!

Distracting Aliens

4)      Breathe deeply, expanding the lungs, position yourself until you are one inch from their ear canal – then MEOW in an Operatic voice (KNOWN AS THE BUGLE CALL). 

Diva in fine Operatic form

Oh I see the canine has left the room with tail tucked in fright!

        5)      I love to see my human JUMP OUT OF HER SKIN!!!
LOL ha ha;

        6)      Plan B: if that doesn’t work, look for any exposed feet or toes! You may bite -JUST ENOUGH! You always get what YOU want;

      7)      Jump, on them. Walk over to the bedside table.Knock over the pen, tea cup or electric alarm clock (if it is electric, tap the cord with your paw and send it crashing to the floor);

Oh I expect you will hear moans and groans from YOUR HUMAN SERVANT…..DON’T WORRY. 
 Be ready to duck for throwing objects your way and flaying arms;

  8)      BE pursistant……the goal is to get them up and into the kitchen…FOOD IS THE PRIME DIRECTIVE…..compared to Feline or Dolphins, humans aren't the most intelligent species;

     9)      Sit outside the bedroom door; continue to scream at them glass shattering meows….eventually they will get out of bed;
  
    10)   Keep meowing at them even in the kitchen;

    11)   Look sweet and deserving…that will get them all the time;

Darling my SweeNESS pose 4 YOU

    12)   Devour your breakfast
 (nonchalantly) wash your face and sit with your back turned away from them….this will annoy them greatly;


Remember to strike the ears in a V formation like radar…pretending to be an Egyptian Sphinx.  Even if they talk to you sweetly…IGNORE THEM ^..^

Remember MY DARLINGS……..YOUR HUMAN IS THERE TO SERVE YOU AT ANYTIME, BREAKFAST, LUNCH OR DINNER!!!


Remember your ancestors...they wrote the book on 'how to' manipulate humans and control them.

&^..^&click on the thumbnails to see my in FULL LIFE!

Well, next week I'll test you to see how you have purformed!!!!

Write to me and let know who YOU DID!


See you next week....

similar blog posts: http://divapaws4advice.blogspot.ca/2013/04/so-you-want-little-melody-with-your_15.html

So YOU want a little melody with your coffee - do you??

Well Hello MY Darlings!

I've been UP for hours....I expect you are if you are reading this.  Like most felines your humans provide you with plenty of entertainment at all hours of the day (they remind you of mice sometimes don't they).   Just when she thinks I am quietly sleeping or dreaming, I am actually thinking up clever plans.   

As an actress, I often try the raw material at home, then develop the scenes at the theatre which provides for entertainment between sets. This one is called "So YOU want a little melody with your coffee -- DO YOU".

Let me entertain you....with my singing!!!!

 How about some drama in your face? 

Humans are either morning or not ..take mine -- she is NOT.. LOL!!!

There is my human shuffling in and out of her slippers. One eye opened.... absent minded, reaching out for the on switch of the coffee maker.  Diva with elliptical saucers, intent to make contact with her human whose eyes resemble slits like light trying to penetrate an open doorway in the darkness.  

Diva sits for a moment, strategy's her plan of attack!!!  “We know you aren’t a morning person are we human.   Well, I love to play with you like a mouse, are you ready…are you”. “Let the show begin”.

You think the clock radio is loud, you haven’t heard anything yet.   Diva runs into her Cat Cave, just enough room to stretch her body to its’ full length.  Standing on her perfect paws, she starts to practice her operatic scales…(Meow, meeeeooooow, meeeooooooo).   

The glass beaker shatters in the bathroom!
Pitter -patter to human feet scurrying (tripping over her feet) to effect damage control. The voice is raspy more like scorched grass, not quite a fire breathing dragon...only I can do that. "Diva another broken glass, smashed on the floor. I don't have an unlimited supply...not as if I have a prop disposal at your beck and call." “You know I can’t abide plastic”.  

Again, Diva in full force shatters the air with another orchestral performance.   The gentle gurgle, gurgle is no competition.  Turning her head human looks annoyed.  Diva sits threshold of the kitchen doorway in different and defiant, plonks down taking ownership of the space.  “Well human, you know what I want M I L K, M I L K”.

How long do I HAVE TO WAIT!!!

“Ok, OK you are so persistent, you don’t give us and play those psychological games, tugging at my heart strings, and I suppose you think I’m a marsh-mellow”.   “Well, human if the shoe fits, remember what I do for a living a psychology, I have been studying you for years”.  

“Alright you win again, if this means peace and quiet the MILK is on this way”.

Diva spins in delight watching the reward cascading as a waterfall into the dish, eyes gleaming in triumphant victory. 

 Looking back several times Diva trots to her breakfast nook in the living room while the sun rays add a gentle glow to her abode.  Almost filling her nose Diva dives in lapping the milk splashing her whiskers as waves to a kayak.    

 Jumping on her favorite table she sleeps in the sunlight dreaming and thinking of more plots for her human.   Kittens, don't forget to take notes..........!!!!

Think I'm sleeping? NO just plotting my next DRAMA!

 Well, MY Darlings!  Remember to be creative with your humans they are like a three legged stool. Subject to be unbalanced in the morning and easily pursuaded.......LOL.

Snow Adventures - Bliss on a Winters Day

Hello MY darlings!

Did I perhaps disturb you from your winters nap (head tilting to the side)?   Wake up for a snow adventure with me.

In the early morning, the bright sun stirred me from
my slumber as butterflies dancing on the air.

I looked up to from my window, to a white blanket of freshly fallen snow nestled on the tops of buildings.  Creating a dusting of 'icing sugar' on the sidewalks below.

Humans with flapping coats, as if they were being nudged along by the soft wind... wrapping around their legs.  It was funny to watch them, trying to walk. Little children with bright woolen mittens interlocking their fingers with their parents.  Lifting their heads with mouths open to catch the snow flakes tasting them before they melted.   Cat's tongues are great for this due to their nobbled texture!

...

Fresh fallen snow add new beauty to nature's vista

A soft purrs emanated from my throat filling me with excitement.....snow, snow...snow woo hoo!!!. New adventures, the smell of fresh fallen snow, the snow flakes tickling my whiskers!!!!!.  I rang the chauffeur "James" we are off for a trip to the Lakeshore toward my favorite waterfront. Doffing his black cap and saluting, "Yes, Ma'am" was the polite reply.

JJ Plaus Park - Mississauga

In my kingdom Diva's would not be seen sporting those 'dog boots', besides which they are not featured in Prada. (singing her my favorite ditty)......"The Diva only wears Prada" - lol. 

After a short drive we finally arrived.  I kept pacing back and forth in the back seat, anxiously waiting the release of the door catch.

Crystals held in nature

Nose to the ground, I sniffed picking up delicious scents. Checking for squirrel tracks looking for their pattern of escape... perhaps a snack in the making!


I smelt the air with my nose and let the snow flakes fall naturally on my whiskers, there was so much to see.  Frozen walkways, foot prints both of human, animals and birds.

 I spotted a rather dashing cat sitting on a park bench reading 'cat's mag'.

He was was elegant...well groomed and of interest to me. He could win the yearly 'staring out contest'.  An afternoon sojourn.....perhaps a nice warm cappuccino ........surely the chauffeur needs to buff up the car. (Wry smile) I'll send him on a 'fishing expedition' ha ah .. the dreaded shopping spree! 

"Tuxedo cat" has a rich baritone purr and  with a Austrian accent.  Umm..... I thought......I bet he knows a place to purchase Schwarzwälder Kirschtortespoke. 





We exchanged polite conversation and found out my cousin lived two doors down the road in Vienna.   I gave the chauffeur the remainder of the afternoon off.

I remembered a good friend of mine suggested a coffee shop in Oakville.....

so off we ran .........for an adventure.....................you never know!  Snow adventures........take on amazing adventures.

A Diva enjoys a Mochacappucino

Remember:   MY Darlings, socialize, enjoy the moments in life, whether a sojourn over coffee or tea........surround yourself with friends....making happy memories.....    




 More links on snow.............http://divapaws4advice.blogspot.ca/2012/02/leap-frogging-for-snowflakes.html




My great friend Toulouse has some great info on Switzerland too.http://toulouseletrek.com/2070/switzerland-adventures-castles-cobbles-and-coffee-in-sion/






Happy reading......................See you next time...........for more fun in the snow!!!!

Christmas Day - Boxing Day

ANTICIPATION!

Hello MY Darlings!

Well, it has been a flurry of activity the past few days!!!

Christmas and Boxing day have tumbled like a moss gathering
hugging a stone!!!! LOL.

The activities of going to bed in the wee hours of the morning
have given way CURLING ON MY BED AT 11:00 P.M. A gentle bowing stretch, a warm bowl of milk - slips into magic world 'cat dreams'!!

The flurry of flying wrapping paper, monitoring kitchen staff and cooking
into a mode of 'R E L A X A T I O N'.

Oh ALL This WAITING!!

I guarded the kitchen today, in ANTICIPATION of the "Free Range Organic Chicken".  No matter what I did to try and get her attention, MY human staff ignored me.

 I  was beside myself with the OVERPOWERING smells: chicken, sage and onion, carrots, asparagus (MY favorite).  I had to let of steam - so I ran around getting dizzy!!!!  I thought my nose would explode!!!!! LOL

 

Organic Free Range Chicken: I didn't have to capture!

Finally, plates heaped with morsels were carried to the table (I sat poised ready to HEAP, displaying stealth and agility).      

Organic Catnip Mouse

Oh my I can hardly contain myself!!!!!



A little play time waiting for MY Christmas dinner and the unwrapping of gifts provided lots of MEOWS of D E L I G H T!!

Wrapped in a moment of JOY

 Oh my, OH MY,  intoxicating aroma of catnip -- has my senses in a frenzy...............(eyes rolling, mouth drooling - ??? Someone is laughing at me)????

Well, I hear a 'winter storm is brewing"....I'm tucking PAWS in for the EVENING, CURL UP AND WATCH A MOVIE!

MY DARLINGS.......&^..^%

Enjoy, REMEMBER TO PARTY friend or family.....be a SOCIALITE LIKE ME!

Visit me at the Diva File Chronicles too:  http://thedivafilechronicles.blogspot.ca/2012/12/diva-file-chronicles-christmas-boxing.html

We are gearing up for NEW YEARS EVE!!!!  Bring out the bagpipes!!!!!!!

PARTIE ON...................M E O W!!!!!

Christmas Eve - December 24, 2012

All done and dusted we are ready for CHRISTMAS!

Hello MY Darlings!

It's Christmas Eve and I have made it!

All the shopping is done, presents wrapped,
homemade cranberry sauce is resting in the fridge like a soft wind surrounding the Canadian Rockies!

The musical dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies echo's gently in the background. Drifting into the evening like a flowing cape against the back-of the night sky.

Strategy: How to make space under the tree?

I of course am whining (howling) as I know there is a Organic Chicken in the fridge.  My housekeeper has taken away the key to the larder as she know I will snoop!!!


There isn't much room under the tree anymore....

I've promised to be very good and not snoop

I take "Great comfort and joy" that everything is done!!  I expect you have had a busy time too, and perhaps like me am a little exhausted!

Well-deserved Cat nip - break - phew....

Well, the phone and email correspondence has been busy, family and friends calling.  This is a lovely time of the year to 'natter' (not a birds)
and have as the Brits say "have a chin wag"!!

Stories around the fire and a little 'smile' as humans call it.  I will have a warm dish of MILK!

Snack Size

We have many blessings to be thankful for (chicken, turkey, catnip, a warm place to sleep and a residence groomer and if you are lucky a "Lady in Waiting)!

Countess Von Whippet

MY young countess Whippet friend said "Always leave a little room, push yourself away from the table when full".....

MY Auntie Ness loves these

Have a wonderful Christmas MY darlings, peace, joy and much happiness.....rest now and tuck those paws in for a good-night sleep.