Friday File: Who Said the Show has to Go ON at the VETS

Well hello MY Darlings!

I've been away mousing....nice to be back!

Welcome to 'The Friday File" what a purfect day.
I've decided to take a cat nap and let my faithful Secretary click away at the computer!

There have been a lot of emails flying into my 'in box' this week.  The subject of behavior issues.
                                                              (Reading through, this......tickled my whiskers to no end).

Oh yes, as a practitioner I see a quite a cross-section of 'personalities' in my practice, I'm sure the Veterinarians say the same (LOL).  Feline, canine, or humans all have certain characteristics that defines: who they are, that goes with the territory.  I've selected a email,  I shall call her "Vanessa" her true name has been protected to save the innocent!

"Dear Counsellor" can you address the issue of 'Diva' personality how to deal her at the Vets?

Well WHAT?

Here is her story:

"Vanessa writes: My calico cat is a Diva in her own right, even as a kitten she knew who she was. With her purfect airs and graces were clear  at a tender age.  "Jenn, Jenn" was no exception.  We took her to her annual exam at the Veterinarians.  There she is known as "Little Lady" (obviously they don't know her THAT WELL). 

Over the years I've developed keen sense of intuition to help me read  through her, that doesn't always work.  I gave Jenn, jenn my faithful companion several syringes of water to aid the process along (otherwise she would cross her paws an ignore me).

Stop Staring: I haven't done anything yet!

All the technicians know her and games she gets up to! (Vanessa often wanted to hid under the benches in the waiting room with and red face)!  The procedure was to extract a urine sample..simply routine ...right?  "Jenn, Jenn" had her own ideas, in destroying the 'sterile field'.  As an actress in her own right...she is quite manipulative! Intuitively, sitting in the waiting room Vanessa thought - I hope this isn't a repeat performance?.

Performance time! The technicians with had soft voices working quietly.  Time to get into the ACT! All was in order for the moment. With no fanfare announced 'Jenn jenn' tinkled on the table! She was even purring in defiance!

The chirping of the phone distracted Vanessa from the Pet magazines she was reading.  "We have to now wait for hours to get another sample echoed the receptionist. (Rolling her eyes to the ceiling and shaking her head). Pet parent responded.
"Oh I see was the reply, can you give her syringes of water again, please".

MY show...you WAIT!

 
Well the clock moves very slowly at the Vets or any medical office when you ARE WAITING!

Jenn, Jenn was very nonchalant, deciding to fall asleep!!!  The minutes rolled into hours, 1, 2 and 3. at the precise cat moment 9.45 p.m.  This was the third hour! The technician was able to extract the sample".   Just another day at the Vets!

I Got YOU - Show Time

The phrase "Patience is Virtue" understood by a cat or dog. Seasoned Dog Handlers or Obedience trainers will tell you!



Well, well, well, that is quite the story (I'm sure gentle readers you can relate to that). (Washes face, while thinking)!


Summary:

Clearly, we have seen some typical "Diva traits" here.  As pet parents, there is often little you can do....when trying to predict feline or canine behavior.

Even with ALL the careful measures with TLC (tender love and care). 

Take this recipe with you equal measure:
1> Spoonful of love, with plenty of pinches of reassurance, praises, eye contact (whenever possible).  2>Take one glass of PATIENCE with a ounce of HUMILITY and LAUGHTER.   3>  A huge cup of tea for the pet parent upon returning home, and a dish of milk for the patient.
4. Stir with a spoon of EXPERIENCE for you never know it may end up in a blog page
and provide some entertainment for "Pet Parents" to share!

Ok...Lets go Home and EAT

Have a purfect weekend -- see you next time



Other related blogs:

http://divapaws4advice.blogspot.ca/2013/09/the-friday-file-aspects-of-relaxtion.html

Do write to us if you have any interesting stories to share!

So you like Sleeping Do YOU!!! ROOM SERVICE 101

Well I see you are STILL SLEEPING, I've been up for HOURS!

Good morning MY darlings!

ROOM SERVICE 101.........Wakey Wakey, its dawn…I see you sleeping! So ….are you? Thought you could sleep! Ah yes, the eyes are tight shut and you are snoring as usual.  What is the matter with you it is 5:00 a.m. I’ve already been prowling the morning sky for birds; a little snack before I wake you up!!!

Diva distracts, acts, stealing the morning slumber from her human!



I want my breakfast – NOW!


Do you hear ME, my day job at the theatre starts at 11:00 a.m. Just in time for English elevenses....the civilized hour for sipping tea before noon!.

I'm ready to perform....however I do have an ulterior motive  FOOD!(shaking her head and hips, wagging her tail in defiance  - tap, tap, tap)!! Get UP!

Oh.... I see toes..dare to me bite them!

I have plans for you…..thought I was innocent, oh yes, my sweet darling face could have been give away. (Smirking) But it isn’t.it isn't!   Humans have one purpose ONLY …to SERVE DIVA CATS!!!!!!

I promise to:  Make you jump out of your skin, yell in your ear with meows that will shatter glass!!! Before 7:00 a.m.!!! Can you dig it girl???

For those new kittens on the block here are the STEPS you need to take. (get your paws ready to take notes with a bowl of milk!). A refresher for the seasoned cats!

How to GET YOUR BREAKFAST NOW @^..^@ - :  10 point version:

1)      Observe your human;

2)      Carefully jump on the bed not to make any motion;

3)      Watch their face, are they snoring (if so creep up to the right or left ear and sit for a moment);

Planning the strategy!!!!

Distracting Aliens

4)      Breathe deeply, expanding the lungs, position yourself until you are one inch from their ear canal – then MEOW in an Operatic voice (KNOWN AS THE BUGLE CALL). 

Diva in fine Operatic form

Oh I see the canine has left the room with tail tucked in fright!

        5)      I love to see my human JUMP OUT OF HER SKIN!!!
LOL ha ha;

        6)      Plan B: if that doesn’t work, look for any exposed feet or toes! You may bite -JUST ENOUGH! You always get what YOU want;

      7)      Jump, on them. Walk over to the bedside table.Knock over the pen, tea cup or electric alarm clock (if it is electric, tap the cord with your paw and send it crashing to the floor);

Oh I expect you will hear moans and groans from YOUR HUMAN SERVANT…..DON’T WORRY. 
 Be ready to duck for throwing objects your way and flaying arms;

  8)      BE pursistant……the goal is to get them up and into the kitchen…FOOD IS THE PRIME DIRECTIVE…..compared to Feline or Dolphins, humans aren't the most intelligent species;

     9)      Sit outside the bedroom door; continue to scream at them glass shattering meows….eventually they will get out of bed;
  
    10)   Keep meowing at them even in the kitchen;

    11)   Look sweet and deserving…that will get them all the time;

Darling my SweeNESS pose 4 YOU

    12)   Devour your breakfast
 (nonchalantly) wash your face and sit with your back turned away from them….this will annoy them greatly;


Remember to strike the ears in a V formation like radar…pretending to be an Egyptian Sphinx.  Even if they talk to you sweetly…IGNORE THEM ^..^

Remember MY DARLINGS……..YOUR HUMAN IS THERE TO SERVE YOU AT ANYTIME, BREAKFAST, LUNCH OR DINNER!!!


Remember your ancestors...they wrote the book on 'how to' manipulate humans and control them.

&^..^&click on the thumbnails to see my in FULL LIFE!

Well, next week I'll test you to see how you have purformed!!!!

Write to me and let know who YOU DID!


See you next week....

similar blog posts: http://divapaws4advice.blogspot.ca/2013/04/so-you-want-little-melody-with-your_15.html

Celestial Sundays - Just 4 ME

Hello MY Darlings!

Celestial Sundays are what it's all about!!!  Making time for ME!

Stars sleep during the day that is why we have DAYLIGHT!

Stars enable cats see even with their SPECIAL night vision!

To do absolutely nothing, simply EAT and SLEEP.  Turn off the computer, unplug the 'cat' phone. Steal your HUMANS WATCH!

Even the universe in it's celestial wisdom ...SLOWS DOWN.  I ordered MY HUMAN to write. SNOOZE - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.................ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


Let me radiate a little purr sequence for you!!!!

OH Momma that feels SO GOOD!

Celestial Night Patrol.....the eyes have it:

Fandango

[Wikepedia]- Cats have excellent night vision and can see at only one-sixth the light level required for human vision. This is partly the result of cat eyes having a tapetum lucidum which reflects any light that passes through the retina back into the eye, thereby increasing the eye's sensitivity to dim light. Another adaptation to dim light is the large pupils of cats' eyes. Unlike some big cats, such as tigers, domestic cats have slit pupils. These slit pupils [ did my human mean we have STARS IN OUR EYES - lol] can focus bright light without chromatic aberration, and are needed since the domestic cat's pupils are much larger, relative to their eyes, than the pupils of the big cats. Indeed, at low light levels a cat's pupils will expand to cover most of the exposed surface of its eyes. However, domestic cats have rather poor colour vision and (like most non-primate mammals) have only two types of  cones optimized for sensitivity to blue and yellowish green;

{Dream sequence..........nattering, body twitching in lucid day dreaming:  DID SOMEONE SAY 'ICE-CREAM' cones or M I L K},

Did you say M I L K WITH THAT?

I'd like CHEESE with my order!

 they have limited ability to distinguish between red and green, although they can achieve this in some conditions.

 

^{SOUNDS OF SILENCE:  My human thinks I have SELECTIVE DEAFNESS???   Well MY DARLINGS that is her opinion not mine!!!  I choose to listen to certain frequencies THAT INTEREST MOI!} 

Cats have excellent hearing and can detect an extremely broad range of frequencies:

Take me to your RADAR Hertz

They can hear higher-pitched sounds than either dogs or humans, detecting frequencies from 55 kHz up to 79 kHz, a range of 10.5 octaves; while humans can only hear from 31 Hz up to 18 kHz, and dogs hear from 67 Hz to 44 kHz, which are both ranges of about 9 octaves. Cats do not use this ability to hear ultrasound for communication but it is probably important in hunting, since many species of rodents make ultrasonic calls. Cat hearing is also extremely sensitive and is among the best of any mammal, being most acute in the range of 500 Hz to 32 kHz. This sensitivity is further enhanced by the cat's large movable outer ears (their pinnae), which both amplify sounds and help a cat sense the direction from which a noise is coming. [Especially if it's a PIZZA delivery] ^!

Diva KNOWS BEST....it's all about CATOPTICS!!

 ^{One last thought:   Remove the watch and sleep!}

Simply UNWIND

^{WELL MY DARLINGS............don't know about you ....I'm just CHILLING in MY Kingdom.................Ciao babio.}

Room mates 301 - Yours Mine and MINE

Hello MY Darlings!

In the continuing saga about room mates, I thought speak on the aspects of  'food sharing'. 

After all (don't you agree) this is not unlike human children and sibling rivalry (giggling with paw on hip).

Being the ultimate Diva of my kingdom and calling all the shots, it can be quite surprising when your own food gets stolen (right under the hands of the lady in waiting....how does that happen (looking peeved...I ask you)!!!.

Knight Chambers

I've had lots of practice (mirror..mirror....on..the wall....) watching those British epic Edwardian drama series  'Downton Abbey...one 'Drama Queen' for another. Sr. Sammy has been out on patrol duty for most of the night (I heard him come in around 3 a.m. The familiar ring tone of his bell on his collar is like distinctive paw print).  So I let him sleep in. 
                                   
My morning started off with usual, routine of warm milk, stretches, ablutions,  going though my agenda with my PR person and organizing staff, making sure we are all on MY page.

No question "Alpha" is best

I heard the familiar dinner gong ......food (well my stomach usually let me know before then -- LOL).  Ah yes....perhaps  "Pheasant Under Glass or (Paw)". With anchovies an an appetizer??? (lips smacks, tongue moves from side to side like a pendulum in purfect rhythm). Not like those humans with unpredictable wind screen wipers -- ah ha that is where the word "intermittent" was developed on purpose

Knight delights - feast NOT famine!

 MY food had been carefully prepared just to my liking, I was called away to deal with a minor matter.   

(Sr. Knight...thinks.....my tummy is rumbling.....Well, after being on a grueling patrol over rugged terrain and not much food I was starving.) No filed mice to be had.

Safe in the castle ....I had to grab anything I could.....I didn't see a name...however ....now I DO SEE...the feeding station has a noble mat??  

My "Giddy Aunt" my food is gone........my 'Lady in Waiting' didn't see anything......????

The "Royal We" is not AMUSED

Well, the mystery has to be resolved (with a wry smile)....ummm let see if  "two can play this came"...
 

Opps...caught  "after the fact"

(Queen...thinks) intuitive whiskers quivering....Eureka.....I feel a Sherlock Holmes idea coming on. Body language, posturing....that's it...all will be revealed.


I will do the "Royal Diva"
and make my rounds......

Diva Queen gets the spoils

One has to simply know where to look ......."a sprat to cat a mackerel"  (small expenditure made, or a small risk taken, in the hope of a large or significant gain, recorded from the mid 19th century). 


Besides which, I order the food stores anyway LOL (wink wink)!!

Well MY Darlings......

Be sure to drop in for....more tails about 'Roomies'

If you missed Room mates 201 you can find it here -- 

(point mouse over text and click)

Room Mates-201-feels-like-home


Ciao......../*.¸.*´

¸.•´ ¸.•*¨)¸.•*¨)

(¸.•´(¸.• (¸.•´¸¸.•¨¯`•.¸¸.♥^,,^  follow the Diva

Roomates 201 - Feels Like Home

Hello MY Darlings!

Welcome the this weeks advise blog.

I decided to continue the subject of Room mates as with most ...the relationship shifts like a pendulum or tidal waves. As with personalities having characteristics of their own.

The very best advise is: patience, humour and leverage LOL.

Cats have varying degrees of alpha traits where one alpha female (may...I say may in tongue and cheek.....) may give way to the alpha male if she choses.  This can be said of humans too, that is why they call them "Diva and Divo".  The Italians had to think of it first (laughing hysterically)!!

As with any relationship it is often tested depending on the weather, mood, feeding time or stresses from the day. Or in my case running my kingdom and looking after the staff, upstairs and downstairs.

Once the transition of the relationship takes on a comfort zone, their more tolerance, ("not being on tender hooks" as humans say) ease and less assertive commands of putting your foot down for position for territorial space. LOL More sharing as in the delightful afternoon tea we as recently. 

Testing the Waters

http://divapaws4advice.blogspot.ca/2012/05/mothers-day-british-tea-at-court.html

Sharing is a bit part of the commitment of sharing (with cats we agree to help ourselves to each others water or food bowl).

Sharing is easier if you just relax!!

Well sometimes you might not like it due to territorial rights...however you begin to live with it .....much like human brothers and sisters!  It takes a lot for me to share my Spider Plant well, having "Sr. Sammy" is a lot cheaper than hiring a flock of sheep to keep it cut down (ha ha)!!

I am quite sure dear fans you have a lot to say on this and we welcome your comments on this subject. We love to hear from you as it makes us PURR!!!


Well MY Darling there you have it!

Another fine day!

One last word take care of each other, enjoy life and look for that sunshine gleaming in your window each day!!

Queen Diva remembers Queen Victoria

Queen Diva - Gives the Commands!

Hello MY Darling!

Today, we wish to honour another Queen.
Queen Victoria.

My staff are busy preparing for the "Afternoon Tea" and festivities that will ensue tonight. Of course all I have to do is 'give orders'! LOL.  Then all I have to do is relax and do what comes naturally!
All a question of 'optics' you know MY darlings. 

I've done my research and found out some history I'd like to share with you on your "Official" holiday of today.

History:

The birthday of Queen Victoria was a day for celebration in Canada long before  Confederation,  with the first legislation regarding the event being in 1845 passed by the Parliament of the Province of Canada to officially recognize May 24 as the Queen's birthday.It was noted that on that date in 1854, the 35th birthday of  Queen Victoria, some 5,000 residents of   Canada West gathered in front of  Government House (near present day King and Simcoe Streets in Toronto) to "give cheers to their queen."
  On May 24, 1866, the town of Omemee , also in Canada West, mounted a day-long fête to mark the occasion, including a gun salute at midnight, pre-dawn serenades, picnics, athletic competitions, a display of illuminations, and a torch-light procession.

First Government House in Toronto

Following the death of Queen Victoria in 1901, May 24 was by imperial decree made Empire Day throughout the British Empire, while, in Canada, it became officially known as Victoria Day, a date to remember the late queen, who was deemed the "Mother of Confederation"

Sr. Sammy - Knight

I have for the degrees the day to be an official holiday in MY kingdom.   Sr. Sammy has taken his valiant group of knights with him to ensure the message reaches the villages beyond MY realm. I have ordered him to do a little recruiting too before he returns for "Afternoon Tea"  

Downton Abbey Guests

If you missed my last soiree here is the link: http://divapaws4advice.blogspot.ca/2012/05/mothers-day-british-tea-at-court.html

Afternoon Tea

Well, MY Darlings, I must be off to check on MY staff...do have a 'Jolly Good Time' on this very special holiday.   We are having 'tea' at 4:00 p.m do drop in won't you...........come back soon..................

Knight Quest: In Search of the Holy Cat Grail

Hello MY Darlings!

I have been busy writing decrees and commissioning......

"Sir Sammy" is on a Knight's quest in search of the Holy Cat Grail.

Dawn breaks upon the kingdom

There have been eerie noises emanating from the hallways and peripheral grounds of my kingdom.  Workmen have been rebuilding the walls of my castle since the last siege.  Nothing more than a few crumbling stones ....nothing of great magnitude. Clanging swing-stage break the sounds of morning silence when I demand my sleep. Nothing to say of the privacy issues.  This requires Knight Sammy to be on 24 hour guard, the most honored in my cat kingdom. The look and stealth of a noble family.        

The Journey Begins: Into the uncertain mist

The journey is set to begin at dawn, my dark knight is set to embrace adversity, fearless and undaunted by the face of mystery. Poised strength is his cloak that awaits dawn's early rise.

"Go Sir Knight, be valiant"!

Noble "Black Knight"

Chiseled face and expressive eyes carve out the mission quest with determination.
 

Noble knight raises the position of our humble kingdom by being part of it. I am fearless, "I will stalk the night moving with stealth into the dawns early light, perhaps a few field mouse to give me strength for my journey".

My super cape with special Star will guide my path

Holy Grail Chalice

Eloriomonous Moat

Ashness Bridge - Keswick - Cumbria UK

Long ago my ancestors were known for their hunting skills and stunning intellect...I will bring all this to the surface......fast flowing rivers and mountains are not an obstacle but a welcomed 
challenge. "Oh Holy Grail lead me to you".

Perhaps some delightful salmon pate on route.....


The Holy Grail Cat Chalice: is to be furnished from fine leaded crystal resplendent of Cumberland distinction.  Humans often refer to the shape as Brandy Snifter. Only the Queen of the Kingdom is allowed to partake of it's contents after her servant tests the royal morsels.

The word chalice derives from the Greek kalyx through the Latin calyx, in which it simply means ‘cup’. A chalice is, in fact, simply a cup meant to hold drinkable liquid, although it has come to have more specific connotations. Generally chalices are looked upon as religious objects, and in the modern world are most often associated with Christian masses, out of which the Eucharist wine is drunk.

The most common shape for a chalice is with a large bowl on top, with a stem that widens out as it goes down to a flat base. Most chalices have fairly wide bowls, but some are smaller, sometimes then referred to instead as a goblet. Because of its central place in the Mass, as well as its material beauty, the Christian chalice is usually treated with a great deal of respect and reverence.

Word back from the palace .......Sr. Sammy walked for miles on his 14 trek. The treasure buried was finally found in a remote location called "The Beaches"in sandy soil, partially dried elements were left in the archaeological dig.



Dusty, tired paws covered in sand and his coat and cape worn by the adventure.

Ah Bliss after Pampering

All in a Knights work. Resting my paws

 He was treated to the Royal treatment by grooming by the ladies in waiting, where his whiskers and coat were shone to perfection. 

A hearty dish and a smile from his Queen gave him the satisfaction of his noble duty.



Well, MY Darlings, I am delighted to be dining once again in Royal style.  Sr. Sammy is now on retreat after a valiant journey.

Queen Diva Nods to her Knight!

**Happy Mothers Day***

Next post: -- Afternoon at the Palace Royal.....what will it be like?
http://thedivafilechronicles.blogspot.ca/