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Saturday, September 21, 2013

Friday File: Human Dilemma - Sleepless Nights in TO

Hello MY Darlings!

Well, I had to pull this topic for "Friday File" out of the metaphoric rabbit hat!  A lot of emails this week on the issue of sleep disturbances.  Ah yes, this has to do with the change of the seasons.

Whether you are a feline, canine or human psychologist sometimes OUR clients think we can wave a proverbial 'cat magic wond' and make the issues disappear (POOF)!

There have been a activity in my 'in box'!

Of course cats are known to be nocturnal by nature; it's in our our very marrow, right down to our paw prints!!!  Feline clients have told me "We can hardly wait for humans to get to bed so we can party, raid left over pizza boxes" (yes I remember reading that in the Chronicles of the Diva Files a short while ago Pizza-party the-morning).
Singing on hot tin roofs like 'Fiddler on the Roof" chasing squirrels until they are dizzy;

I'm up for some mischief

 Let the adventures reveal themselves: Play ping-pong in the bathtub; act as interior decorators in the living room, scattering cushions on the floor. Creating new forms of Fen Shui. We hide behind sheer living room curtains, making ourselves invisible. We patiently stalk the 'moving traffic' from our perch though solid glass, at dawn they mysteriously turn into birds and fly into our gaping mouths!!! YUM!

(Stretches to regain focus) Humans on the other hand have inferior eyesight, have awkward agility at night. Evolution stood them upright. They normally sleeping at night...with some exceptions LOL. How boring it must be!!!
Don't ya just luv it!

Enter the Human Dilemma:

My research shows human biorhythms and circadian body clocks can be drunken squirrels. Either they are: night owls or morning people!!! Or somewhere in between!  Can't even deal with a full-moon LOL!!!!

Night Owls:  love to play, party hard, study, write and create any where from 1:00 - 4:00 a.m  (ask MY secretary). I play SHE types!  That is why these humans look like spooked raccoons falling over their feet at 8:00 a.m!

Morning Chorus Humans:  They are usually in bed at 9:30a.m and up at 5:30a.m bright eyed and bushy tailed. Raring to GO once morning light draws back the curtain!!!(Is this misguided evolution).  They are 'superhuman, able to leap bounds and multitask at 6:30 a.m!!! "You talkka MY language.......MEOW"

Sleepless in T.O (Toronto) you say!  My clients say that this a huge problem for the female variety.  It also depends on their sensitivities (the tidal pull of the moon); late night movies, lap top, television..too many distractions = complications.


1) Turn off the computer or TV after 10:30 p.m allowing for the natural circadian rhythm to fall naturally into place (adrenal glands surge at 11:00 p.m waking the body up);
2) Never go to bed hungry, always a bowl of milk, or ( 70 dark chocolate cake);

3) Try a little lap around the park or stroll after dinner;
4) Listen to pleasant music, call a friend;
5) "Get your self LOST in a BOOK" my humans grandmother used to say!
6) Massage your feline or canine companion (connect intuitively - bond)
7) Take a page from the above and RE-LAX
Food for thought MY DARLINGS!!
Whatever works FOR you!!!

I never have had trouble sleeping myself.

Night patrol!

Listing to your stories helps make MY practice PURFECT! I'm beginning to understand HUMANS. Thank you to all of your emails.............they always keep me PURRING!

 Follow the Diva:.............&^..^&.....!

Friday, September 13, 2013

The Friday File - Aspects of Relaxtion the Challenges of Mechanics


Hello MY Darlings (smirking).

Well you thought I'd NEVER ASK, the obvious question! What about relaxation?  Mother nature gave this to cats on a 'purfect platter'.  Never ask pur-mission just take it YOU own it!

I've had lots of emails coming across by busy PAWS DESK on dealing with relaxation and personal relationships.  I had to get MY Secretary to sit on the papers as there were so many.  The whirling of the printer was giving such a headache even my whiskers hurt.  EXIT to my secret 'cat door flap' (I use this as a back door, so patients don't see my entering into the front door of the office)!

Stretching I ordered my large saucer of milk. I had a feeling it was going to be one of those days!  My whiskers tell me so....vibrate+ radar =cat sense. MY Secretary is trained so we don't have to natter.......all done by intuition!  That tuned in feeling... LOL)!
I had recently implemented a new system into my practice "Catnip Therapy". For those... cat-tankerous clients. Clinically identifies as having cat baggage' From kitten to cat hood.......they never developed the skills to 're-lax'.                 
 Oh, yes paw pointing by human family members, felines too. Meowing: Bengal, 'diva' 'divo' 'cat-tankerous' (variation on human: cantankerous), hissy fit!! 
It doesn't matter how many 'cat degrees' you have or the experience you have....the challenges will always be there!!!

Enter Patient: Count Boris, a Russian Blue ...from Australia. I had done my research..he didn't fit the usual definition given his behavior.

New Patient: Count Boris

(The Russian Blue is a cat breed that has a silver-blue coat. They are very intelligent and playful, but tend to be shy around strangers. They develop close bonds with their human companions and are sought out as pets due to their personalities and coat. The Russian Blue is a naturally occurring breed that may have originated in the port of Arkangelsk, Russia. They are also sometimes called Archangel Blues. It is believed that sailors took Russian Blues from the Archangel Isles to England and Northern Europe in the 1860s. The first recorded appearance outside of Russia was in 1875 at the Crystal Palace in England, as the Archangel Cat. The Russian Blue competed in a class including all other blue cats until 1912, when it was given its own class).

"Mr. Boris", saunters into my office stomping, arrogant cat body language (hissing under his breath, mowing and carrying on so loudly).  I managed to catch his stared him I do.
I offered him some freshly brewed tea. Putting my baseball mitt paws of authority on my desk -- looking through my glasses!    I pointed to the huge arm chair where he could chill out!  A few moments to let the catnip take hold (LOL).
Facial Expressions- Catnip 101
Step 1: Gently in hail through the nose

I employed a few facial expressions (breaking the ice just to make him laugh) I'd used this 1000 of times on patients!!

Step 3: roll it around your face - relax
Step: 2  inhail gently
I knew I had to monitor and control him, so I made a game out of it!  His gruff demeanor was softening (just a little)
Step 4: Let yourself GO

I had MY secretary record the session (permission given by Mr. B).  She came in on my paw cue. The electric bed hummed lowered to the floor , I said to him. "we don't want you to fall off". I will check on you in 20 minutes".  I trotted into my office, then lapped a small bowl of milk, to gather my focus.

(Chortling) I observed patient through the two way mirror. His front and back paws flat out....he looked like road kill (sorry the only metaphor I could think of LOL).

He had to turn over...lowering himself onto his belly. His right paw out to steady himself. our complete surprise .....the table started to MOVE OUT from THE WALL????? The gap got wider and wider!!! Cooly I meowed...... "Secretary, grab his back paw gently."  He was like a amoeba sliding off a slippery rock!!!!  Bullump.......... he slid onto the floor wedging himself between the table and wall.  It was like trying to hold onto wet spaghetti.

The 4 brakes were not secured?? The cleaners forgot to put them on after last night.!! "Mr Boris" was so relaxed he didn't react, a melodic purr emanated from his belly......we got him to his feet got him to sit, checking him over. In a busy practice, even under 'controlled' environment no one came predict mechanical issues or 'human nature'.  

We got him a 'cat-cat' and called an hour later...........................


"Mr. Boris" wearing off the catnip with family

Lesson of the day: Humility often comes at surprising times, both for patient and practitioner alike.........if should happen to YOU...SIMPLY LET IT GO!!!

Move on, get those PAWS moving and chase a few BIRDS.....

Hindsight is often 20/20 mixed in with grace....

See you next time MY DARLINGS...........^..^