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Saturday, April 12, 2014

^..^ CATS: The Art of Sleep Deprivation 101 or PAWING FOR YOUR ATTENTION ^..^ -

Anticipating SPRING!


Hello MY Darling!

Welcome to another story from my files!

(Yawning and stretching).  Finally it's SPRING, I never thought it finally come to  "Great Far North".

Are we  'furry creatures' destined to keep their winter coats on until summer?  Mother Nature's Circadian Rhythm was way off LOL ^..^.

As a result of the early change of clocks before April, there have been some hillarious  musings in my in box! Thank you for all of you who have shared your stores!  This one goes out to Vanessa Rose.  I'd love to meet your beloved companion.....or would I......LOL

She writes:

"Well, the night time routine of getting my ALPHA FEMALE  (Little Lady)  was uneventful.Apart from the usual .....simply trying to get her to bed before 1:00 a.m.     The turning off of the television to the command "Bed Time, time for snacks".  Massage and a little brushing followed by kibble in 'HER MAJESTIES'  dish.

Sipping on my warm milk I envisioned a restful slumber.. As she proceeded to in hail the food like those 'mini hand held vacuums'  for quick clean ups.    Gobble, smack smack dog like behavior!!!! Well, who else is here, did she think I WAS GOING TO EAT HER FOOD!!! The dish is as shiny as a new penny!!! LOL.

Oh yes.....
 A little pat on the small of her back to "Go to Sleep, Settle".  Go far so good........^..^ The rhythmic  kneading (booying, booying...a bakers dozen in the making), fluffing up the bed sheets and comforter into that purfect nest.  !!  Umm this could be a while..(sigh)

I anticipated a long nights sleep and for once. I didn't have to get up; or stir to hear her rooting around in her toy box or hear items on the dining room table being knocked in a succession of PLONK, PLONK making it HER OWN..little did I know.

I was dreaming of an English village, enjoying a coffee around 11:00 a.m. daydreaming waiting for a friend to join me.   Off in a intuitive MUSE thinking of my next article. Reality came as a  rather loud, rude pursistent annoying  'tap, tap, tap'  Like a tea cup making contact into the saucer in a reckless heavy handed style devoid of any social graces associated with this gentle art of tea drinking!!! 

Step 1:  HUMAN you will NOT SLEEP!!
A different reality --- fussy headed, time was distorted....I was waking up. (charming@@@!) Disorientation,  ...the loss of a  purfect sleep...what's going on!!! Rubbing my uncoordinated fingers over my "Little Lady" staring at my with wide eyes of inquisition' FEED ME NOW!
Step 2: I have you UNDER MY SPELL......

 Ignoring HER....covering my head with the sheets......all quiet .....ha bliss!!!!  Cat plonks herself on my pillow taking up all the room;  pushing her back feet into the back of my head......I was hovering on the threshold slipping off.

Step 3: Tap Tap, Tap I will WAKE YOU
Drifting off, again.....why is it sound so magnified when it is so quiet. There it goes again, tap, tap, dish, cup what? I tried to make sense of it the dark.

[Muttering &&&@@@!!! jibberish]. Reaching over to the jar of kibble, dolling out some into her dish. OK OK once she is fed that will be it 'slumber returns'...think again!.

Intuition is easy..... I was smart enough to place a small bowl of water on the bedside table. She is agile and self -serving when it suits HER . (I've seen stand on the edge of the bed balancing like a ballerina, anchoring her nails as a barnacle).

My voice cracks splitting the silence again....."Divva what is it now pray tell".  Looking around into her intuitive /intelligent eyes."Momma, I want water now"
......I remarked "Then go and get it, I'm not wet nursing you".   Her eyes glowered back.  (I knew that a look too well). I brought the water bowl over TO THE  pillow, wedging it carefully...holding it with my hand...(like an obedient servant she expected) Looking into my half slit eyes. The message was clear as mesmerizing eyes...trapped again thought I "Oh good I've got you UNDER MY SPELL".    My brain was trying to wrap my head around this BRAND NEW BEHAVIOR.

As a good pet mum I had always tried to be flexible to the Circadian Rhythms of MY cat....didn't I?  To be truthful, it didn't do well with my Diva Scottish ( peppered with Italian) temperament.   
Step 5 : the VICTORY LICK! 

 She finished drinking....phew.....what time was it 5:30 a.m. (thank you very much)!! Great 4 hours sleep.......!!!!!!! I put the water dish back of her on the bedside table....covered myself yet again and told her to "settle" she new this command as it has always worked...(yawning  I drifted into semi conscious state).

"Tap, tap, tap (oh not again, was that the clunk of the morning paper hitting the threshold of the door).  In the half twilight of the morning....there again...Divva...tapping to the purcussion of the dish!!!!

 Relentless to WIN over this Divva as the last ditched attempt to prove I was the MORE intelligent species.  I then got more kibble and brought it over to her towel the bed and placed her catnip ball...this should do it...

Step 6:  Be nonchalant always WIN over YOUR HUMAN

What lesson did I learn that fitful night/morning!  "Never underestimate YOUR CAT".  Exceptional and highly intelligent. With every lit of cunning as a illusionist ...the master of deception.. She will always twist the situation to HER own advantage!!!"

Well, MY Darlings......remember a good scheme is worth the wait....

^..^  remember to follow me ^..^.

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^..^Summary:  Relationships are so very important, whether they are human, feline or canine.  We share our lives with our precious friends we call devoted companions.  Blessings come in the form of life's lessons.  Alpha female or males can bring out the best revealing their individual characteristics in any species.  The challenge is to fine the humour and enjoy it!! ^..^